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Do it or I’ll sue you!

You generally hear this sort of thing from irate customers arguing with staff. The “I am a lawyer” or “I have a lawyer” or “I know a lawyer”, followed by the threat of a lawsuit.

If you ever, ever get the urge to say anything at all like this… don’t. If nothing else, it makes you look like what is generally known as “a towering mound of asshead”.

If that’s not a good enough reason to avoid it, here are three more:

Firstly, you’re almost always saying it to the wrong person, ie: To someone who is constrained by rules or company policy, and therefore unable to concede to your demand. If they do, they’ll probably get fired. If they don’t, and you sue, and you actually win, their job is probably safe.

Second, and perhaps more importantly, statistically it doesn’t work.

For every hundred million people who actually threaten a lawsuit, only one of them is actually going to file one. Threats of lawsuits are common. People following through are less common, and even that one in a hundred million may not have enough of a case. Nobody’s going to take you seriously if you try this method of compelling compliance.

Third, blustering and threatening legal action can even injure your chances of winning a civil lawsuit.

So, forget about the whole threatening thing. If you’re going to sue, sue. March on down to your lawyer, get out your credit card and get them working.

If you’re not going to do that, you can at least do less embarrassing things than threatening to (like wearing your underpants on your head).

Categories: Fail, Law, Opinion.

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